rolf's diary

Archive for the ‘depression’ Category

Dear diary, i sat on the bridge, ready to jump! #blog

In depression, diary on 26. July 2010 at 20:10

last year at december :
“soon it’s over” i thought as i sat at a bridge over the rhine in my home town. my soul was dead and i want to jump in river to find peace. in my life is too much happening still want to live on.
but a little thing in my brain held me back. one little thought: you are at the end! why you don’t try to begin a new life? is it not a try worth?
and i stood on.
today i’m happy that i attempted. i’m not yet happy but i’m on the right way.


Dear diary, hack yourself!

In borderline, depression on 25. July 2010 at 22:39

You can be happy. You can live the life you want to live. You can become the person

hack yourself!

you want to be.

This is what I’ve figured out so far.

Stop assigning blame. This is the first step. Stop assigning blame and leave the past behind you.

You know whose fault it is that your life isn’t perfect. Your boss. Your teachers. Your ex-lovers. The ones who hurt you, the ones who abused you, the ones who left you bleeding. Or even yourself. You know whose fault it is — you’ve been telling yourself your whole life. Knowing whose fault it is that your life sucks is an excellent way to absolve yourself of any reponsibility for taking your life into your own hands.

Forget about it. Let it go. The past isn’t real. “That was in another country, and besides, the wench is dead.” If we’re not talking about something that is real and present and in your life right now, then it doesn’t matter. Nothing can be done about it. If nothing can be done about it, then don’t spend your energy dwelling on it — you have other things to do.

via hack yourself.

the process of coming out of your depression

In depression on 24. July 2010 at 04:59

Here are some tips to help the process of coming out of your depression. Write them down and go through them one-by-one.

1) First of all, accept that you are going through this phase in your life. Acceptance is the first positive step required to change.

2) Choose someone you feel comfortable with and tel them how you feel. Ask if they will help support you even if it only involves listening to what you have to say.

3) Line up any other forms of support you can think of including your doctor.

4) Try and simplify your life while you are going through this period.

5) Write down on separate pieces of paper the things that make you feel low or depressed.

6) Place those things you wrote above in an order of most upsetting through to the least upsetting.

7) Choose the one that is the least upsetting and easiest to tackle and write underneath the possible ways of doing something about it.

8) When you are ready take action on that item and if you need to ask for help from people around you to achieve this.

9) Gradually work your way through the list.

10) Don’t feel that you have to stick to the order of your list. If you want to do things in a different order then do so.

11) Be kind to yourself. Remember you are doing the best that you can despite how you feel.

12) Reward yourself for tackling anything on your list.

STOP trying to please others! #blog

In borderline, depression, self esteem on 23. July 2010 at 21:13

There is one thing you can do right now to improve your self-esteem: Do yourself a favour and stop trying to be everybody’s darling. That won’t work. Really. There always will be people who won’t like you. And that’s okay. So you can be truly yourself anyway. And there is another simple but profound truth: If you look after yourself first, if you take care of your own happiness FIRST, then it will become really easy for you to help other people in the second place. Because you then act from a position of power and strength.

10 reasons not to commit suicide #blog

In borderline, depression, diary on 22. July 2010 at 19:48

10 reasons not to commit suicide

If you’re reading this, there is at least a small part in you that doesn’t want to die. Listen to it, and please read on.

Suicide is final – once it’s done, there’s no changing your mind. Since you have even the slightest of doubts, you owe it to yourself to stay alive.

You can always kill yourself later, why not wait? Even if you wait just one day, you may find a reason not to kill yourself in the meantime.

If you’re feeling suicidal, you’re probably in more pain than you know how to handle. There are ways to reduce the pain, and ways to learn to deal with pain. You can learn both – either way things will get better.

Just because you’re feeling suicidal doesn’t mean you have to act on that feeling.

Consider this – if you’re trying to escape from the pain you are in and seek relief, suicide is not the answer. You cannot feel relief, or anything else for that matter, if you are dead. You must stay alive in order to feel the relief you seek.

Often when feeling suicidal you feel alone. You are not alone – you found us didn’t you? Turn to your family or friends or a priest or a rabbi – anyone that will listen. If you don’t know whom to turn to, use the links on the right-hand side of this page to find resources that can help.

By terminating your life right now, you terminate your future. Consider this – we create our own future. You have the power to create whatever future you wish for yourself. But you need to be alive in order to have that future.

If you’re sensitive enough to be in so much pain that you no longer want to live, you’re probably sensitive enough to care about, and want to help others. Maybe you don’t feel like helping anyone else right now, but why not help yourself? And perhaps by not killing yourself and overcoming your difficulties you can later help someone else who is in a similar situation.

Finally, don’t do it because I’m personally asking you not to. Whatever you’re feeling, whatever you’re going through, things can get better – I know because I’ve been there. Maybe I haven’t experienced exactly what you have, but not only have I thought of suicide, I tried it – thankfully I was unsuccessful and I can speak from personal experience when I tell you things can get better.

via The Bright Side – Support & resources for coping with depression, grief, suicide, mental illness, and emotional crisis – Wings of Support.

The Bright Side

In borderline, depression, diary on 22. July 2010 at 19:38

Welcome to The Bright Side

The Bright Side was created as a means of support – whether you are dealing with depression, grief, suicide, mental illness, emotional crisis, or are just feeling overwhelmed with life, you are not alone! We all go through difficult periods in our lives, when everyday life feels like it’s just too much to bear. A little support can go a long way towards helping us cope – and that is what The Bright Side is all about. On The Bright Side you will find educational materials, articles by top experts, personal stories, and other resources to help you cope with depression, grief, suicide, or whatever mental or emotional difficulty you or your loved one may be experiencing.

via The Bright Side – Support & resources for coping with depression, grief, suicide, mental illness, and emotional crisis – Wings of Support.

How Low Self-Esteem Can Cost You The Job

In depression, self esteem on 22. July 2010 at 19:14

If you’re one of the many who battle low self-esteem, your career is probably suffering as a result. Experts say that people with low self-esteem engage in subconscious behaviors that undermine their success, making them less likely to ask for or get promotions, raises and even jobs.

According to Lois Frankel, Ph.D., president of Corporate Coaching International and author of the bestselling Nice Girls Don’t Get The Corner Office, “People with low self-esteem often try to remain under the radar screen because they don’t want to be noticed, but especially in this economy, that is the wrong thing to do.”

via How Low Self-Esteem Can Cost You The Job –

Facebook Addiction

In depression, opinion on 22. July 2010 at 18:27

Facebook Addiction

Do you Facebook more than an hour per day? You may have a Facebook Addiction.

via Facebook Addiction – a Video on eHealth Forum.

dear diary, breakfast!

In borderline, depression, diary, self esteem on 22. July 2010 at 09:10

to improve my self-esteem and self-confidence thru my illness includes a sensible nutrition. it’s important to increase the serotonin level.  since a couple of days i eat more fruits and vegetables. this morning i have eaten only tomatoes and cucumber without dressing, only salt. i drank coffee without milk and sugar.  as a side effect i have lost weight.

for an increasing serotonin level i do 5 times a week sport exercises.

meanwhile i feel me better on this way.

New study indicates women who are perfectionists are more likely to suffer from postpartum depression

In depression on 22. July 2010 at 03:46

DALLAS, TX – Growing up, Erica Osters, didn’t just do it all she did it all well. She is the classic over achiever.

“I was in cheerleading, acting and modeling. By the time I was 25-years old I was in a finance job and earning a six-figure salary,” Osters said.

But, Osters world changed when the 28-year old McKinney woman became a Mom about two months ago to her now 8-week old son, Kendon. She says she wanted others to believe that she had mastered motherhood, but secretly it was hard. She slipped into postpartum depression, convinced she wasn’t a perfect mom to her child.

“I would talk to him and he would still cry. I was very down on myself because I thought I was a bad mother.”

New research indicates first-time moms, like Osters may be most at risk for postpartum problems. The study indicates that socially-prescribed perfectionists are likely to suffer. They are people who believe they should live up to society’s standards of motherhood.

via New study indicates women who are perfectionists are more likely to suffer from postpartum depression, which can lead to trauma and tragedy for families. – KDAF.