rolf's diary

Posts Tagged ‘confidence’

Dear diary, how i do be confident?

In borderline, depresson, diary, self esteem on 26. July 2010 at 21:01

We are all human and have flaws. Even if your physicalappearance, unique personality, or social skills aren’t what you wish they were, that doesn’t have to stop you from being confident. Confidence translated literally from Latin means “to have faith in oneself”. You are beautiful inside and out so you should loveyourself unconditionally. Here’s how to believe in yourself.

  • Think for yourself. Very confident people know what they are doing is right, usually because they created an original thought rather than attempting to reproduce from an external source.
  • Make a list of special talents you have, or things you do that are good. Focusing on your attributes helps distract you from those parts of yourself that you think are flawed. It doesn’t have to be a specific skill or activity either; it can be an approach or an attitude that you champion through life. Do you always stay calm, cool and collected, even in hurried situations? Are you verypatient with people? Do you always see the humorous side of things? Are you always there for your friends?
  • Find your passion . Whether it’s baton twirling, martial arts, classic cars, musicianship, or basket weaving, you will feel confident pursuing that endeavor by recognizing what you enjoy doing the most. More importantly, you’ll be enjoying your progress.
  • Focus on Others. Try not to focus negatively on how you come across or how others mayperceive you. Instead, focus more on making other people happy, and that will build yourconfidence as other people start enjoying your company.
  • Take care of yourself. Eat a healthy diet. Don’t abuse your body, don’t overload it, and don’tdeny it any of the things it needs. At the same time, don’t obsess. Buying all the moisturizers, creams and conditioners will not bring you closer to who you want to be. Those things are only band-aids and make up. Confidence comes from within. Take the time to reflect on your life and do some emotional maintenance. In order to be truly confident, you absolutely must value yourself and understand that your well-being is important.
  • Work out. This is a real fast change. The gym can transform even the last geek. It will help you be who you are, and not be afraid of it. That’s the real confidence. Getting enough exercise can boost your confidence amazingly. Not only will it give you more energy throughout the day, but being in good physical shape will make you feel more “worthy” you could say, to talk to others and to be yourself.
  • Stick up for yourself. If people put you down (and not in a good-natured, joking way), then let them know that their opinion of you is not held by everyone—most of all yourself. This may, at first, be hard to do. But once you stick up for yourself a few times, your confidence builds and you get more adept at it.
  • Celebrate your individuality. If you know you’ve got something special or different, then embrace it; don’t hide it. That’s diversity. You may wish that you were taller, or shorter, skinnier,stronger, whatever the case may be. But you need to realize that, if you were like everyone else, then you wouldn’t be who you are. “What am I?” you ask; the answer’s easy: You’re a uniqueindividual who is capable of growing and learning.
  • Take action. It is surprising how powerful the simple step of taking an action can be. And the action you take need not be something extravagant or grand. It could be something as simple as tackling a task that you have been procrastinating, such as writing a letter or tidying up that corner of the garage that has been out of control for the last several months. It could also be something as interesting as taking a class in yoga, art, interior design, anything that interests you that you haven’t done yet. Whether large or small, action brings with it exhilaration, enthusiasm, and the confidence that other things can be done as well.
  • Improve your posture. Having good posture can actually make you feel more confident. Don’t slouch or slump your shoulders; nothing says “I lack confidence” more than a person who appears like they’re trying to hide from the world. Make sure that your back is straight, your shoulders are square, and your chest is puffed out slightly (but stay loose, otherwise you’ll appear stiff and uptight). Keep your chin up and your eyes forward rather than looking at the ground.
  • Make a conscious effort to smile often. A smile makes you appear warm, honest, friendly, and confident. You can also just relax your facial muscles entirely, which will make you appear calm and relaxed. Observe yourself in a mirror to make sure that you don’t have a tense or nervous facial expression, because if you do others will believe you to be sad, angry, or uncomfortable.
  • Make eye contact with others, especially when engaging in conversation. Gaze into the other person’s eyes as you talk to make yourself seem interested, calm, and confident. Avoiding eye contact makes you appear shy and submissive, while directly staring for too long may make you appear angry or scared. So the best advice is to gaze into a person’s eyes as you converse with them while occasionally shifting your gaze or looking around.
  • Control your hand motions. When it comes to gesturing with your hands, keeping your hands far apart and your palms open makes you appear open and honest. Pointing with your fingers and bringing your hands closer together can draw emphasis to what you are saying. Don’t overuse hand gestures or you’ll look nervous and unstable. Avoid wringing your hands or touching your sleeves, as these things can make you appear nervous, tense, or even dishonest.
  • Put a little strut into your walk. Move like you have a purpose, and keep your knees slightly bent to avoid appearing stiff and rigid.
  • Act confident, even if you don’t truly feel it. After a while, it will come naturally, and you will feel confident in yourself! Also, learn to not care what others think of you. If you let what people say to you bring you down, you will never be happy. Only care about how you feel about yourself, and don’t always take what people say at face value, because they may be jealous of you and are intending to put you down. Don’t let them stop your progress, but stand up for yourself whileacting calmly.
  • Smile and talk loudly and clearly, making jokes and being generally happy. Don’t moan or be over-confident people hate that so much.
  • Be kind to every one, even if you don’t like them. No matter who they are just be nice. That way, you will seem warm, friendly, caring and kind.

symptoms of borderline personality disorder (BPD)

In borderline on 25. July 2010 at 08:15

The main feature of borderline personality disorder (BPD) is apervasive pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image and emotions. People with borderline personality disorder are also usually very impulsive.

This disorder occurs in most by early adulthood. The unstable pattern of interacting with others has persisted for years and is usually closely related to the person’s self-image and early social interactions. The pattern is present in a variety of settings (e.g., not just at work or home) and often is accompanied by a similar lability (fluctuating back and forth, sometimes in a quick manner) in a person’s emotions and feelings. Relationships and the person’s emotion may often be characterized as being shallow.

more…

Raise Self Esteem (quick, easy and effective) #blog

In self esteem on 23. July 2010 at 21:26

Dear diary, monday notes

In self esteem on 19. July 2010 at 21:17

6 billion human but i feel lonely. It is hard for me to build social connections. I wish for me to talk with other people. Instead i speak with my diary. It is sadly.the development of my self esteem is making progress. I think i am on a right way for a turn around. I am mental exhausted and will go to bed now.

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dear diary, this saturday morning

In self esteem on 17. July 2010 at 08:10

my thoughts are restless, they are hard on my feelings.

the feelings would to be crushed until i think about suicide again.

thoughts like flying swallows

at the sky i see a swarm of swallows. they poise through the air. without stress. they lead a life of simplicity and life a happy life. weightless.

I’m not envious. i try to copy their behavior for my thoughts. thoughts can be a poison or wonderful gifts.

i have to choose! and then working on it! livelong. hard.

the trouble is it worth.

good-by swallows! thank you for your help. until the next time.

Why is a Healthy Self-Esteem Important?

In self esteem on 17. July 2010 at 04:03

Self-Esteem is a powerful human need. It is a basic human need that makes an essential contribution to the life process; it is indispensable to normal and healthy development; it has survival value. – Nathaniel Branden, Ph.D., The power of Self-Esteem

Lack of self-esteem is a significant contributing factor to substance abuse, child abuse, crime, violence, teen pregnancy, chronic welfare dependency, school dropouts and eating disorders. This is not to say if you have an unhealthy sense of self that you will definitely fall into one of these categories, it is much more complex than that and a lack of or false sense of self-esteem doesn’t mean you will be a failure. There are very successful people like the highly productive workaholic. However, so many people judge themselves on what they do or what they own and when self-esteem is based on success it only leads to anxiety.

When individuals focus on proving themselves or live to impress others they typically have defensive or low self-esteem. They tend to blame others instead of taking responsibility for their actions and tend to show arrogance and contempt towards others.

Being with people who value themselves and each other does more than bring us pleasure; it strengthens our own feelings of self-esteem and inspires us to encourage it in others. – The Final Report of the California Task Force to Promote Self and Personal and Social Responsibility, Toward A State of Esteem.

If we as parents have or achieve a healthy sense of self-esteem we are better able to instil value and worthiness in our children.

People need to know that they matter.