rolf's diary

Posts Tagged ‘illness’

dear diary,sunday morning

In self esteem on 18. July 2010 at 08:58

after a another night with terrible dreams i sit here at my netbook and try to describe my mood. but this morning i feel only emptiness.

i have not even thoughts  about a jump from a bridge. i’m in the moment like a sculpture in the storeroom at a province museum. an ugly sculpture without a worth.

every day i think about if i want to live tomorrow. irresponsible?

who do say this? god? god is death and we anytime too.

my unborn son? he is the thin thread. a very thin.

nobody speaks with me, no friends anymore, only thoughts and tabletts.

i want too speak. with humans they can understand me.

but where are they?

self pity?

probably.

appeal for help?

yes.

but god is death and we anytime too.

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